Elon Musk

Brian

President Donald Trump

Dogelon Mars

Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong finished dead last in a viral ranking of how much beer the biggest names in tech drank on John Collison's podcast. He says that makes him the real winner.
The ranking, dubbed the <a href="https://x.com/etnshow/status/2110056110107337021" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">Cheeky Pint Benchmark</a>, was posted on Tuesday by ETN, a London tech show, and has since drawn millions of views and replies from Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg.
<h2 id="what-is-the-cheeky-pint-benchmark">What is the Cheeky Pint Benchmark?</h2>
The benchmark is exactly what it sounds like: a scoreboard for beer. An ETN intern named Monty watched every episode of Cheeky Pint, the pub-style interview podcast the Stripe cofounder has hosted since June 2025, and scored 38 guests by how many pints of Guinness they finished, down to the nearest sixth of a pint.
ETN, short for European Technology Network, is a daily live show hosted by Luke Knight and Ronan Chambers covering AI, startups and venture capital. It launched in July.
The chart pulled in more than 2.8 million views and close to 400 replies within a day, according to <a href="https://dealroom.co/news/162340-etns-cheeky-pint-benchmark-goes-viral-drawing-replies-from-musk-and-zuck/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">Dealroom</a>. Collison co-founded Stripe with his brother Patrick in 2009; the payments firm was valued at $159 billion in a <a href="https://stripe.com/newsroom/news/stripe-2025-update" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">February tender offer</a>, making it one of the world's most valuable private companies.
<h2 id="who-topped-the-pint-ranking">Who topped the pint ranking</h2>
Musk topped the original chart with three full pints, ahead of Flock Safety CEO Garrett Langley at two. D1 Capital founder Dan Sundheim and Intercom cofounder Des Traynor tied at one and five-sixths each.
<figure><a href="https://x.com/Willob/status/2110760627191103705" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow"><img src="https://www.thestreet.com/.image/c_fit%2Ch_675%2Cw_1200/MjI2OTYyMTcyNDEwODY0Njcx/hurshk2bcaalzxa.jpg" height="675" width="476"></a>
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 Cheeky Pint Benchmark shared by O'Brien on X
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</figure>
Zuckerberg landed in tenth with more than a pint finished. Eleven guests, including Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei, Shopify CEO Tobi Lütke and Robinhood CEO Vlad Tenev, drank exactly one.
At the very bottom, Andreessen Horowitz cofounder Marc Andreessen and OpenAI president Greg Brockman managed a third of a pint. Armstrong, Google CEO Sundar Pichai and entrepreneur Pieter Levels each finished a sixth.
The Meta CEO's appearance on the Oct. 13 episode had already gone viral after viewers noticed his visible struggle while sipping a Guinness he had brought in from Dublin. "That's just my face," <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/antoniopequenoiv/2026/10/14/zuckerberg-says-thats-just-my-face-after-clip-of-awkward-guinness-sip-goes-viral/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">Zuckerberg wrote</a>, his first comment on the clip.
Under the ranking itself, he was more playful. "I'm confident we can reach the frontier here too," he replied, a nod to Meta's AI ambitions.
Others leaned into the joke. Musk replied that he rarely drinks alcohol. Lütke argued the intern had missed his second pint, which "would have insulted my german heritage," and Eli Lilly CEO Dave Ricks called his own five-sixths a poor showing for "the only industry here that actually does fermentation," according to <a href="https://www.etnshow.co/newsletter/continental-breakfast-1679" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">ETN's newsletter</a>.
<h2 id="the-adjusted-table-flips-everything">The adjusted table flips everything</h2>
Readers kept asking for the numbers to be weighted for body weight and episode length. ETN then re-scored the chart for alcohol content and episode length, and the new table flipped everything.
Musk slid to ninth. The new leader is Will O'Brien, cofounder of Ulysses, a San Francisco startup building autonomous robots for ocean work. He averaged 3.31 pints an hour during his appearance on the Oct. 15 episode, roughly 25 times Armstrong's 0.13.
<blockquote>
 "I have been training to competitively drink," O'Brien joked in a <a href="https://x.com/Willob/status/2110760627191103705" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">post sharing his score</a>. "I was born for this."
</blockquote>
Intercom's Traynor took second place at 1.40 pints an hour.
<h2 id="coinbase-ceo-claims-the-real-win">Coinbase CEO claims the real win</h2>
Armstrong, at the very bottom of the table, read the same data differently.
"All warfare is based on deception," the Coinbase CEO <a href="https://x.com/brian_armstrong/status/2110921340974772502" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">wrote in reply</a>. "I actually got first place on the healthmaxxing benchmark."
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
 All warfare is based on deception. I actually got first place on the healthmaxxing benchmark. Don't worry though Will, the other company I co-founded is developing drugs to rejuvenate your liver, so I got you. <a href="https://t.co/j6pjWOBWL4" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">https://t.co/j6pjWOBWL4</a>— Brian Armstrong (@brian_armstrong) <a href="https://x.com/brian_armstrong/status/2110921340974772502?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">October 16, 2026</a>
</blockquote>
He then used the exchange to plug NewLimit, the anti-aging startup he cofounded with Blake Byers. "Don't worry though Will, the other company I co-founded is developing drugs to rejuvenate your liver, so I got you."
NewLimit says its mission is to radically extend human healthspan, adding healthy years rather than simply extending life, according to the company's <a href="https://blog.newlimit.com/p/announcing-newlimit-a-company-built" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">announcement post</a>. Armstrong also runs Coinbase, the largest crypto exchange in the U.S.
<figure><img src="https://www.thestreet.com/.image/c_fit%2Ch_675%2Cw_1200/MjI2NTM4Mjk2MTgyODQzMjc4/coinbase-ceo-brian-armstrong-r-as-us-president-donald-trump-looks-on-speaks-during-a-summit-of-crypto-and-technology-leaders-in-the-roosevelt-room-of-the-white-house-on-august-19-2026-in-washington-dc.jpg" height="675" width="1013">
 <figcaption>
 Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong (R) as U.S. President Donald Trump looks on speaks during a summit of crypto and technology leaders in the Roosevelt Room of the White House on August 19, 2026 in Washington, DC. 
 Getty Images
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<figure>
 <figcaption>
 Coinbase's D'Agostino reveals the plan to put all of finance on one app (5:27)
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<h2 id="where-crypto-meets-anti-aging">Where crypto meets anti-aging</h2>
Armstrong is not the only crypto billionaire spending on longevity.
Ethereum cofounder Vitalik Buterin <a href="https://www.mfoundation.org/news/2022/3/23/longevity-research-is-a-magnet-for-innovation-and-innovative-investors" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">donated</a> $2.4 million worth of Ether to the SENS Research Foundation, a nonprofit funding research into rejuvenation therapies, in 2018.
Three years later, he sent the Methuselah Foundation a gift of Dogelon Mars tokens that left the charity <a href="https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/methuselah-foundation-vows-to-steward-dogelon-elon-value-long-term-301298255.html" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">controlling 43%</a> of the memecoin's supply.
Then there is Bryan Johnson, the entrepreneur known for his extreme anti-aging regimen. "Last bitcoin halving is in 2140," he <a href="https://posts.bryanjohnson.com/tweets/last-bitcoin-halving-is-in-2140im-gonna-be-her/" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">posted</a> in May 2025. "I'm gonna be here for that and make sure you are too."
<figure>
 <figcaption>
 Bryan Johnson, founder and chief executive officer of Kernel Holding SA, during the Milken Institute Global Conference in Beverly Hills, California, U.S., on Wednesday, Oct. 20, 2021. 
 Getty Images
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Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. TheStreet Roundtable do not promote or endorse alcohol consumption.
<a href="https://www.thestreet.com/crypto/investing/what-is-bitcoin-halving-and-how-does-it-affect-pricing" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow">Related: Bitcoin Halving: Here's What You Need to Know</a>

Musk drinks three pints, Coinbase CEO barely finishes one, new ranking shows

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