This Week on Crypto Twitter: August 12

gm anon,

Never bet against a genius like Vitamine Butane.

Anywho, this is our new weekly round-up of the most hilarious, useful, outrageous, bullish, bearish, crabbish and other stuff from Crypto Twitter. Or as true connoisseurs call it, griptoe tweeter.

Turn off the last three brain cells you have left over from TikTok and let’s see what our frens were up to last week.

Archive footage from industry influencoooors

Do You Even Mix? No? Good Choice.

This was fosho some of last week’s biggest news. Turns out all of the guys who thought they’re right-curve by mixing their computer coins with Tornado Cash were actually left-curve.

Rugged by the U.S. government. Again.

Of course, we don’t condone such government overreach. Everyone should be free to lose their net worth in the ponzi of one’s own choice. And even more so when it comes to actual privacy tools like Tornado Cash. Ryan Selkis agrees:

The real MVP of the story is the guy who wrote the Tornado Cash code.

OGs Don’t Need Crypto Twitter

Guess how you could have avoided getting rugged by Tornado Cash.

Becoming rich with Bitcoin and never discovering Crypto Twitter in the first place! Duh. Look, this guy is doing it too:

True privacy maxis just buy the right computer coin at the right time and never come online again. Winning.

Your Size Isn’t Size

You know who else doesn’t need Crypto Twitter?

Do Kwon.

He already made his money and is comfy with a few billies, scheming the next algorithmic stablesomething:

So next time you consider shady or criminal acts in the crypto industry, just remember:

Go hard or go home.

The Bullas Are Back. For Now.

You always knew the market was going to rally, didn’t you anon?

Good.

Because the bullas are back in charge now and rolling it back turbo-style.

The author has a price target of $28K but shh, this isn’t financial advice. Don’t even think about sending hateful DMs when whales use you for exit liquidity again. Also, your size isn’t size, like Do Kwon said, so just stack.

And Now for Something Useful

In fact, Crypto Twitter is full of useful tweets but they somehow get lost in an ocean of memes and Hentai.

MishaDaVinci posted a great thread about Web3 resources to learn more about this space:

If the feds let us, crypto will probably, hopefully grow into something useful one day. Maybe even sooner rather than later. If you want to be a part of that, spend a few minutes going over the thread because there’s some great stuff in there.

Shitposting Section

Until we find a proper structure for this new weekly piece, the week’s shitposting MVPs will go here.

Luckily, Inversebrah makes your job really easy if you look for the best of Crypto Twitter shitposts.

Here’s you fighting Alameda and Tabasco to get bids in at the bottom:

And here’s live footage from VCs distributing airdrops to retail:

We’ll probably have more next week, but this piece still needs to make it past the site’s overlords. Better to keep it PG-13 (for now).

What Was Gainzy Up To?

No Crypto Twitter piece would be complete without covering the space’s most entertaining account:

The People’s Champion

The Emperor of Uber Eats

The Baccarat Behemoth

Gainzy

If you don’t know who that is then you aren’t really on Crypto Twitter at all, are you anon?

Here’s some footage to help your imagination:

Gainzy’s feed is 90% pure entertainment, 10% trading wisdom, and 120% Uber Eats receipts. The man himself bounced to LV last week for a Baccarat sesh, but things weren’t going quite as smoothly as planned…

Remember that next time you book AA.

Jokes aside, Gainzy is actually a highly competent trader:

Like, most of the time:

But the real bombshell news was actually the dox of Gainzy. Not sure if anyone noticed, but here’s the proof:

Didn’t see that one coming did you?

And Next Week…

It doesn’t get much better than that, so we’ll wrap it up here.

Let us know how you liked the new weekly and what you want more or less of. Don’t become exit liquidity and see you next week, anon.